I sure do like them root beer popsicles. Two sticks, one stick,
it doesn't matter. Popsicle Brand, Rocket Pops, whatever. The only
thing better than root beer popsicles is spicy pork gyoza. Oh how I
love that spicy pork. Dumplings, soft and tender, little brain-like
packages filled with savory goodness. God bless the Japanese.
This is the MGB manifesto. This is where the band talks about
interesting topics such as their love for root beer popsicles, spicy
pork gyoza, orange pop, and toasted Lucky Strikes. Their most
intimate thoughts burned into the computer screen for all to read.
One must wonder if the world will ever be the same again.
I've got a hang up about writing things like this. I've got a lot
of hang ups, and this is one of them. What does one say when one is
talking about themselves. I'm yawning. I'm serious. I just did.
Since I've already confessed my love for root beer popsicles and
gyoza, what do I have left? The essentials? Okay, we'll start with
the facts.
Name: Good, Matthew Frederick Robert
Born: June
29th, 1971, Burnaby General Hospital at approximately 3:30
am.
Hours of Labor: 19.
Were Drugs Used:
Yes.
Hair Colour: Brown.
Eye Colour:
Brown.
Current Height: 6 feet.
Current Weight:
147 lbs.
Graduation Year: Class of 1989.
Post
Secondary: Two semesters of Art School.
Those would be the facts. I was unable to track down the other
guys this morning, so they'll have to do their own thing in latter
installments of the manifesto. I am now faced with the fact that,
after the facts, I once again cannot find anything to write about.
It's a hang up. Did I mention that I like root beer popsicles?
Maybe I should talk about our new record. Do you own a copy of it
yet? If you don't, why don't you? I need money to buy spicy pork
gyoza. What the hell else am I supposed to eat? There are thirteen
new songs on the record. Some people say that's unlucky. If you own
a copy I guess it's not. If you don't, well, I guess it is. You
might find yourself eating some gyoza somewhere and wonder why you
don't own our unlucky record. Is it because it's tainted with the
number 13? Do you worry that your CD player will show this number
and cause you bad luck at home? It's not like you'll come home and
find out our record is actually animate. You won't find it breaking
mirrors, strangling your cat, or trying to destroy the rest of your
CD collection out of jealousy. If any of these possibilities even
entered your head before I brought them up I don't want you to buy
our record. You're fucking nuts.
Like I said, there are 13 songs on the record. Some of the songs
are about things that I hate. Some of them are about things that I
like. I have yet to write a song about spicy pork gyoza or root beer
popsicles. I will probably do that on the next record. I'm not sure
what I'd call it. I'm not very good at writing songs about things I
like to eat. Maybe I shouldn't, I don't know. It's all so confusing.
Anyway, I'm hungry now. I'm going to go. I hope you enjoy our new
Web Site. It cost enough, so you'd better. If you'd like any of your
mail or e-mails to be responded to in the Manifesto please state
that you do. I'm also thinking of starting a Web Site about people
who really like root beer popsicles and spicy pork gyoza. Maybe I'll
see you there. Maybe I won't. It's the future, who can
tell.